integer

shit. there are two words. my biggest enemies. one a three letter word that starts with an s and ends with y. the other a nine letter word that starts with i and ends with rt. go figure. i wish i could do something about it. but my "warped" mind doesnt seem to let me do it. no matter how much i try, i'll end up lookning silly. and it sucks. to the core. i wish i can do something. i really do. its not that i dont want to hang around, but i really wont be "there." thats the irony of it all. i'm not an outcast. but i make myself one.

i remember that resolution i shot upward. i'm still holding my part of it. i'm feeling really satisfied in that department. i just wish i could get something in return. wait. let me rephrase it. its not materialistic or whatever. i need HELP. and i could sure use it. big time.

and it sucks when you might not get your dream Win and a Win anytime soon. loll. am i destined never to have it? i bloody hope not. gahh. i just feel so misunderstood and unheard. reminds me of Alma. heck, i'm so looking forward to find out what happened to her.


man. i feel so mauled up. not like those dudes up there. its a cool picture anyway. loll.

and just for the record, i'm am not crazy about starfire. i'd rather have somebody real. lolll. but what are the odds of that? too minute i guess. all i can hope to do, is continue with my resolution. haha. and i need a notebook to write it down, among other things. whee.

*edit* maybe i whine too much. loll